It was as though MOTD had never been away. It was exactly the same as last season

'Now, kicking off a new Premiership season... Match Of The Day, with Gary Lineker.' The words belonged to a BBC announcer, but the excitement was all mine.

After a close-season that went on longer than a McCririck funeral speech, MOTD was back for another season. On the first night of the new Premiership season I was like a kid again. Remember when you were dying for Top Of The Pops to come on and Tomorrow's World refused to end? Well for Tomorrow's World read the BBC News preceding MOTD on that opening night - the bugger just wouldn't quit.

Good to be back

What had they changed over the summer? Gary was clearly still in charge - the BBC announcer had just told me that. But was Big Al still Saturday night monarch? Was Lawro still the miserable sidekick? Had the theme music changed? A new set, maybe? Had Motty been pensioned off?

Then, at long last, the answers. Nothing had changed. Absolutely nothing. It was as though MOTD had never been away. It was exactly the same as last season.

Isn't it always better when the Premiership coverage is on the BBC? I remember a bad, bad dream that I had a few years back in which the football had moved to ITV. Like a straying husband shacking up with a vacuous bimbo, you knew before long it'd be back in the bosom of its family, slippers on, promising never to stray again.

On a Saturday night heading towards the witching hour we want familiarity, we want comfort, we want old friends. It's why snooker has stood the test of time. The same faces, the same commentators and venues, and mostly the same wigs. Familiarity breeds content.

And MOTD, back with Aunty Beeb for a second season, brought us all that, wigs apart. The only jolt was the sight of Ruud van Nistelrooy trying his luck at a free-kick from outside the box. Now that's never happened before. When the Dutch goal-hanger finds himself outside the box, he generally has to ask the way back.

The only drawback in all of this was Motty. It's always been a mystery how Motty got the numero uno gig on BBC ahead of Barry Davies. Take this early Motty comment during the West Ham vs Blackburn Rovers game: 'By and large, Blackburn have an indifferent record here at Upton Park. They've lost on their last six visits.' By and large? Indifferent? When they've lost the last bloody six? Motty has never seen a fence without feeling an irresistible urge to sit on it, and if he doesn't see one he has one built.

But he wasn't alone in failing to deliver on MOTD's big night. Everton vs Manchester United gave us two examples of a commentator (in this case Jonathan Pearce) setting himself up brilliantly for the killer line, only to fluff it. When Everton defender Joseph Yobo inexplicably passed straight to Wayne Rooney on the edge of the six-yard box, Pearce said: 'Wayward, woeful... (pause) ...and the finish was so easy.' How much better if he'd said: 'Wayward, woeful... and the finish was 100% Wayne.' Or at least... 'and the finish was weally easy.'

Five minutes later, when Korean international Ji Sung Park brilliantly controlled a high ball but then screwed his attempted volley embarrassingly wide, Pearce said: 'The first touch gave him the chance... (pause) ...the second saw the chance fade away.' How very tame. Instead, how about: 'The first touch gave him the chance... the second gave him nightmares.' Or 'the first touch gave him the chance... the second was Korea suicide.'

Coleman balls

It reminded me of a famous snatch of commentary from David Coleman in the 1974 FA Cup Final in which Liverpool beat Newcastle United 3-0. Kevin Keegan had just volleyed home a superb goal for the Reds and Coleman bellows: 'Goals pay the rent...' before pausing. Seconds went by and we wondered what the killer clause was going to be. Coleman surely wouldn't set himself up with an open goal like that and then balloon the chance over the bar. Not with his experience. This was the Teddy Sheringham of the commentary box. Yes, David, what next?

'...and Keegan does his share.' What? And Keegan does his bloody share? What's that supposed to mean?

But maybe I nitpick. Motty and co haven't had much of a pre-season. Maybe they'll regain their sharpness as the season wears on. All in all, MOTD was as fab as it's always been. From the stirring opening music to the unfailingly clever Gary gag at the end.

But I have one wish for this British television institution - please embrace betting. It's not a dirty word, you know. There's nothing sordid about it. I'd guess a good 50% of MOTD's audience are sometime punters, as familiar with 5/2 as 4-4-2. Even a brief mention of the updated Premiership title betting would be a start. It wouldn't harm the show and would acknowledge the fastest-growing form of leisure pursuit among young males, net Jodrell Bankers apart.